To say this week has been hectic and stressful is an understatement. As most of you know from Instagram or Facebook I am having shoulder surgery Friday so I’ve been a little MIA trying to plan out my life for the next 2+ months while I will be out of commission. I really thought I was going to be so on top of things once this surgery got scheduled; I planned to make lists and get organized to get posts out, shoot content and just get my life in order because I literally won’t be able to care for myself for quite sometime. Thankfully, I have an amazing mom who is coming in for an entire week to make sure I am taken care of!
Alright, so what exactly is wrong with my shoulder? It all started a few years ago when I started hardcore working out consisting of a lot of kick boxing and upper body exercises. I started feeling what I thought was a pinched nerve in my shoulder area that would get worse with certain movements or if I was wearing a certain bra or tank top that would press on the area. I didn’t really think too much of it and kept working out. I ended up taking a 6 month break from the exercises I was doing until I found City Surf. I was so excited to do something that would get me in shape fast, because who likes working out when they don’t see a ton of results. Over the few months I was doing City Surf I noticed my shoulder pain getting worse and worse but I was in mega shape so there was no way in hell I was stopping!! After a while it got to the point I wasn’t even able to move my arm anymore, so I decided it was probably best to take a break. That was at the beginning of 2015. After taking a few months off, my shoulder wasn’t getting any better. I completely stopped doing any sort of upper body workout and stuck with all lower body.
During this time I had been to a sports medicine doc who suggested I try physical therapy because it was probably just a strain or a pulled tendon. I went to PT, a chiropractor, got deep tissue massages, and nothing was working. At this point I wasn’t even able to lift my arm above my head and any minuscule movement was a killer. I had deep, sharp, shooting pains all the time and if I moved my arm in a certain spot it was excruciating. If that wasn’t bad enough, 2016 was rolling around and my insurance was changing back to an HMO, which means I would have to find an actual primary care physician and start completely over to figure out what’s going on. For me, I would rather deal with the pain than spend even more money and time trying to get back to where I was getting diagnosed.
That was all until about 4-5 months ago. I was working on a commercial and I was physically in so much pain I couldn’t function. Grayson has heard me complain for years at this point (I love you honey!) and this time was by far the worst. I have an extremely high tolerance for pain but I was literally crying in pain. At that point I knew I needed to figure out what was going on ASAP. I went through the pain of going through the processes again and ended up getting scheduled for an MRI which showed a slew of issues. After meeting with my Dr./surgeon I was told that I have 1. a torn rotator cuff, 2. a torn labrum, 3. arthritis forming from a previous injury, 4. type 2 acromion which was causing my shoulder to catch and tear and 5. my shoulder joint won’t stay in socket.
I can’t even begin to tell you the amount of shock I had when I was told all of this information. The fact that I had been dealing with all of these issues and enduring the pain for so long was mind-blowing. I obviously should have had this looked at and fixed sooner, BUT thinking about that surgery and recovery time scared me to death.
After Friday, I will be immobile and in a sling/brace for 10 weeks. If you know me, you know that this is going to be BRUTAL! I am a self employed workaholic, so not working for at least 2 months is going to suck. Even worse, my job consists of me being on my feet, carrying clothing, dressing people, being on set for up to 18 hours a day, with extensive use of my arm. Even if I am out of a brace after 10 weeks, I will be in PT with minimal arm movements, so no work for me for quite some time! Most people have suggested I fall back on the blog to make some extra money but considering I won’t be able to dress myself or move my arm to even get dressed seems a little difficult to go out and shoot. It’s definitely going to be a challenge and I have been trying my best to prep for what is to come.
There are so many things that will be changing after this surgery that I didn’t even consider. Just daily activities are going to be nearly impossible for me to do alone, so I’ve been really trying to practice tasks with my left arm.
Here are a few things, off the top of my head, I’ll no longer be able to do on my own. I’m sure this list will grow exponentially, but here’s a few to start! 🙂
First, I have had to learn to brush my teeth with my left hand. Not a big deal, but what a freaking pain.
I never thought about how I am going to put my hair in a pony tail considering I won’t be able to move my arm at all… SO, Grayson and I have been practicing and it’s quite funny!
Definitely won’t be getting dressed for days or weeks! Ha! Just the thought of even trying to pull pants on with one arm sounds like an effort.
Driving should be interesting considering I wont be able to do anything with my right arm!
Sleeping… That’s going to be a tough one. I will have to be in a brace/sling non-stop unless I am taking a shower, which is another story! Most people are suggesting I go out and buy a recliner because that’s the only way I’m going to be able to sleep sitting straight up. Say what!? I’m that girl that sleeps flat on the mattress with no pillows!! I can’t even sleep on airplanes sitting up.
Showering or even washing my hair is another doozy… That will be nearly impossible! All I have to say is that I’m glad I wipe with my left hand! Seriously though, how big of a pain would that be?!
Definitely no putting on make-up because I only do that with my right hand! Can you imagine how ridiculous left handed makeup would look?? I should do a video on that! hahaha.
And how am I not supposed to do any type of working out for months?! So much for all of those New Years resolutions I tried to make.
Things that we thought are easy and take for granted are going to be some of the toughest things of my life now!
Now the preparation begins
I think the one thing I was most worried about is gaining weight since I will be immobile for months. One of my amazing friends, who also happens to be a personal trainer and nutrition coach at The Bikini Experiment, has been helping me with a healthy shopping list for snacks and food I can easily cook by myself, if needed. Getting healthier was a major goal of mine for 2017 and I’m not going to let this surgery stop me.
I thought I was going to be able to shoot some blog content ahead of time but that was wishful thinking! I had a few commercial styling jobs that I needed to wrap up before Friday which gave me 0 free time to shoot anything!! I’m really hoping my blog and social channels don’t take a huge hit if I’m not able to post on a regular basis like I have been. I’ve already been slacking a ton only getting out a max of 1 Instagram post a day, if that. Talk about nerve racking!
Friday will be here before I know it and I’m 100% NOT ready! There’s still so much to do with no time! I still don’t think it’s really set in that I really won’t be able to do ANYTHING while I’m recovering… It’s definitely going to be harder than I think even though I’ve tried to prepare myself the best of my ability. I’m so thankful and grateful to have such a loving family and friends that are going to help keep me sane during this time!
Keep an eye out for surgery updates! I’m sure the after will be quite entertaining!